I long…

I long for family, one of my very own.

I long for a man, someone to share my crazy self with, and to love, as well as to love me.

I long for an answer, to all my questions.

I long for a body, that I am finally comfortable in.

The dream itself isn’t a bad thing. We all dream.

But here’s what happens: it’s not just that you have a dream, but that your heart gets captured by your dream. It becomes your definition of “life.” This thing that you once wished that you had becomes your nonnegotiable, the thing that you are unwilling to live without.

Paul David Tripp (New Morning Mercies)

You begin to question God Himself– how could He withhold something I so dearly want, something I need?

You begin to think– if He doesn’t provide this, then maybe God doesn’t love me after all.

You base His love (agape love) on your circumstance.

Maybe He’s forgotten about me…

or the dangerous thought,

maybe He’s not good.

And I believe the serpents hissing lie… God isn’t good.
It’s the cornerstone of his movement. That God withholds good from His children, that God does not genuinely, fully love us.
Doubting Gods goodness, distrusting His intent, discontented with what He’s given we desire… I have desired… More. The fullest life.

The REST of the garden simply isn’t enough! It will never be enough. God said humanity was not to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. And I moan that God has ripped away what I wanted. No, what I needed. I live as though He stole what I consider rightly mine.
I look in the mirror, and if I’m fearlessly blunt– what I have, who I am, where I am, how I am, what I’ve got– this simply isn’t enough… … Satan, he wanted MORE. More power, more glory. Satan’s sin became the first sin of ALL humanity: the sin of ingratitude.

Isn’t that the catalyst of all my sins? Our fall was, has always been and always will be, that we aren’t satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other.

Ann Voskamp– One Thousand Gifts (A Dare to LIVE FULLY RIGHT Where You ARE)

You begin to wish you were the sovereign one, that you had the reigns, you were in control. You think your the one who knows what’s best for you, and you could run your life on your own.

You want. You don’t have. So you covet.

Your dream becomes a need, and you become ENTITLED.

This plays with your trust. Your trust in God is now based on if He delivers what you “think” you need.

In this thinking you forget to remember He sees the WHOLE PICTURE.

You do not.

Oh God it’s not the way I had things planned. But then, what of real, lasting value ever is?
Francine Rivers (Redeeming Love)

Romans 8:28-29 is true. He does work everything out for good. But His good may look just a little different than what your definition of good may look like. His good is actually conforming us into the image of His glorious Son– Jesus Christ.

Think back to a time you prayed for something and was devastated immediately because He didn’t provide. But you look back and realize now 6 years later that in the long run it wouldn’t have been what’s best for you.                        Thank Him for not bringing whatever that was that you asked for.

Now please don’t hear me wrong, I’m not saying don’t dream.

We are all dreamers, dream big, cry out to God, ask Him to align your dreams with His will. He delights in you, BELIEVE that!

If He doesn’t give, that is only because He has better.

How does our God act? Does He only give us “out of” His riches? Here a little joy, and there a little victory? Today a little help and tomorrow perhaps an occasional answer to prayer? NO. He– the ALL-sufficient One gives “according to” His riches. His standard is not our daily needs– even though if this only were the case that would make us very happy: “As thy days so shall thy strength be” (Deut 33:25), but He uses the measure and criterion of eternity for our temporal needs and gives us His blessing “according to” His fullness.

Erich Sauer (In the Arena of Faith — A Call to the Consecrated Life)

He is FOR you. He KNOWS you. He knows your desires, He even planted many of those desires in you.


Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Seek His face alone.


It’s in Him we are made complete.

It’s in Him we find the rest we need.

And it’s in Him where our contentment and joy lies.


Would we hold onto our short life with OPEN HANDS. Would we worship our King just because He is, and not only because of what He gives.

Would we be able to say like Job after he had lost pretty much everything (his servants, his livestock, his family, and more)

Naked I came.                                                                      Naked I will return.                                Whether He gives or takes away.       BLESSED BE HIS NAME.










Published by: Rebekah Clearwater

In a world of noise, writing is the catalyst that drives my focus back to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and reminds me of the hope I have in Him— nothing has changed, yet everything has changed.

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One thought on “DREAMERS”

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