THE DAY I BECAME AN 8

The number on that pair of jeans you are wearing does not tell me WHO YOU ARE. Nor does it tell me what your character is like. What your lifestyle is like. If you are lazy or the hardest working person alive.

Nor does it matter… Not at all.

It’s just a number.

I wish that was the place where my mind went… It’s just a number.

I realized something…

Something that is keeping me in an anxious, bothered, controlling state.

It’s all hidden, the extra weight, the real size, the way the abdomen really looks on most. People wear certain clothes to hide any flaw they may see on their body. They cover it up.

We are deceived into believing all bodies should look a certain way. 

Everyone should have hourglass figures, and if they don’t. Well then they should wear clothes to make them look like they do.

It’s all hidden

And then what’s really messing with our minds is the only bodies we do see fully exposed, are the flawless, photoshopped models who have to undergo very strict diets to have the body they do. Most have eating disorders, and most do not have a liberating, healthy lifestyle at all.

The bodies on the front of magazines, on billboards, on our television, and in clothing stores.

So we have this distorted picture of what every body should look like in our minds.

It’s engraved there.

Every time I look in the mirror and compare…

The perfect body.

I could panic… Which I may be doing right now.

But… I won’t because I’m learning the truth. And here it is ladies… Being the skinniest woman in the room is not what makes me worthy (which I’m definitely not anymore). I’m worthy because of who I am, who He made me to be, and because He lives in me.

Just because I may be the most attractive person in the room, or because I am the most thin, or because I am able to have a lot of self control, or because I am able to fit into that size 2, and am very athletic, with a toned body. That is not what makes me, me. It does not determine who I am.

No… It’s not what brings me any kind of satisfaction or what gives me that full life His word tells me about. Life abundant.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I know that…

So why do I keep looking at others and thinking those thoughts about them?

Oh she must have the best life ever because she appears like she has it all.

Cause my mind is all wrapped up in the thinking that my appearance determines my worth.

Which is a lie. It’s just not true. Not one word.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
‭‭I Peter‬ ‭3:3-4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I have poured this desire out on the Lord and I see Him slowly, but surely bringing me to this place. My mind has been programmed in this thinking for so long that I know it’s going to take time. Anyways, I want to get to a point where one day if someone calls me beautiful I automatically would think they are referring to my inner beauty…

That part of me that is not easily seen by the human eye, but is found in KNOWING ME.

The much more beautiful part of me.

The part which bears the image of God.

The part which lasts forever.

Think about it… When I had anorexia, I appeared to others like my life was full of rainbows and lollipops, and I was really living. But the truth was… I was depressed, I was lonely, starving for attention, and deprived of life.

Today I will be friends with my body. I will take good care of it. My hatred toward it won’t have a grip on me anymore. After all it’s His body that He has created. He has loaned it to me. He called it good (Genesis 1:31).

I will be thankful for this temporal body He has given me. It’s His, and I want to see it as the gift that it is, accepting it with open arms. In all forms.

God help me to glorify You through my body in the ways You give me the strength to. Show me the way. Thank you that my body is Your temple, where You reside.

Temples are beautiful.

Thank you that I was never meant to control the fate of my body, nor was I ever meant to count calories, or try and alter this temple. Thank you for my body which You have entrusted to me, and that the only thing you ask of me is to to steward it well. What a privilege!

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭6:19-20‬ ‭NKJV

These are the things I need to be preaching to myself, daily!

I started thinking about my Creator. I have never seen Him face to face. But I’m certain He is

  B  E  A  U  T  I  F  U  L

It’s in His character. It’s in the things He creates. It’s in me, and it’s in you.

So pray with me today. That when we would look in the mirror. We wouldn’t let the image reflected back to us tell us who we are. That we wouldn’t determine our value based on what we see. Whether that would be skinny, fat, ugly, or even possessing the hottest body. But by who God says we are.

Who He created us to be… Which for the record is beautiful, each one. Stunning, love. We are all beautiful in His sight. He doesn’t make mistakes!

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I will look in the mirror today and say God thank you for giving me a passion for You, a heart for others, a boldness, a bursting joy, an ability to love well, an energy about me, and a longing to encourage. Thank You!

Published by: Rebekah Clearwater

In a world of noise, writing is the catalyst that drives my focus back to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and reminds me of the hope I have in Him— nothing has changed, yet everything has changed.

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